Poem: In The Ocean’s Arms

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UPDATE:  I won it!

I decided to enter the ‘Young Writers Competition’ this year. This is my first time entering, so I don’t expect to win, but I’ve really tried my best to create a great poem. The only rules were that I had to involve the words ‘treasure’ or ‘reading’ in my work. I got good feedback from a few teachers (Ms Thompson and Mrs Ford) at school so I decided to blog it.

I hope you enjoy and comment if you guessed what the poem was about (without reading the clue below)!

The ocean is my treasure
In its arms I see the wonders and the ways of the water
I see dazzling fish dive, sea birds swooping low
I see everything…

Although I lack the sense of sight…

The ocean is my treasure
In its arms I hear the ocean sigh
I hear the waves crashing gracefully upon the golden sand
I hear the water beckoning me…

Although I lack the sense of sound…

The ocean is my treasure
In its arms I feel the water around me
We are one, dancing the dance of the ocean
I feel the ocean freeing me from the prison of this cold hard bed…

Although I lack the sense of touch…

I know the doctors say that I will never
Hear, see or feel again
I know they’re wrong
For as long as I can dream I’m in the ocean’s arms

I will see
I will hear
I will feel
As I did once before

By Eve Cogan (10 Years Old, Claremont College Randwick, Australia)

Hope the judges like it. In the comments, let me know what you were thinking of while reading the poem.

Clue: if you did not guess it already, this picture of Dane Brase sums it up. (I was saddened by the story of Dane, a guy I have never met).

5 Comments

  1. Tiffany on 27/09/2012 at 7:04 pm

    What a lovely poem, Evie! Whilst reading, I felt this was about somebody who was unwillingly confined to a certain space, yet they were still able to visualise the power and beauty of the ocean in their mind.

    Keep writing! :)

    x

  2. Brian Walker on 04/10/2012 at 4:03 pm

    Hi Eve,

    What a brilliant poem. Congratulations !!

    Nikki & Charlotte enjoyed catching up with Ruby & yourself last week & were very inspired by your video and poetry.

    With the weather warming up, keep up the Cloey loops. Us Walkers will be up there at Xmas time to kept back into the sunday morning routine.

    Best wishes
    Brian

  3. Joseph Paton on 10/10/2012 at 7:48 pm

    What a great emotive poem Eve! The link on your Youtube video led me here. The repetition of “the ocean is my treasure” is a very effective way to begin each stanza. I love and admire the positive outlook of your poem’s subject in such difficult circumstances. For me it puts the minor complaints and grumbles we all have into perspective. I’d love if we could share this poem in class!

  4. […] June of this year, I posted a blog about the poem I wrote and entered into the Lionel Bowen Young Writers Awards.  The poem was called “In The Ocean’s […]

  5. […] year, I decided to enter the Lionel Bowen Young Writers Award 2014 again. This is my second time entering a poem the competition and after my unexpected win in year 5, I doubt I’ll be second time […]

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